It has been almost 5 months since my last blog post. I have found it hard over that time to find the small moments in a day to write about. When I started this blog I vowed to myself that I would only write about uplifting moments. But today I hope is the only day that you will have to read about the not so great moment in my life.
Without explaining too much I had a friendship/business partnership dissolve. And it has been one of the worst things that I have had to personally experience in a long time. When I was 28 years old I lost my mom. It completely changed my life going forward. This situation is different and similar in many ways. My mom and my friend knew everything about me. They were the sounding board on all kinds of topics. They also knew the right buttons to press to get me going. They knew my weaknesses and my strengths. Over the last 19 years since I lost my mom I don’t think I have ever opened up to anyone as much as I did to my friend. After this experience I know I don’t open up as much just to protect myself.
I often think about what my friend would say about a situation I am going through. Things between my friend and I were going down hill for a while but that is not the part that I remember the most. Some of my friends think I should be angry and they can’t believe that I never speak unkindly about her. But even after all the painful things said between us what I remember the most is the beginning and the next two years after, all the good times, the conversations, the fun, the support we gave each other. We had each other’s back. She got me and I got her. It was easy.
When you completely trust someone, share same thoughts and ideas on topics it is difficult when gradually you begin to take different roads. It is hard to recognize that person as the same one you confided in and when the end comes it feels like a tremendous loss.
I know there is a greater purpose for having had that friendship just for those few short years. And I have tried really hard over the last 8 months to look for the silver lining as hard as it has been. I know I grew in ways I would never have imagined, learned about valuable skills I never knew I had. I am a better person for having had her in my life even for a short period of time.
So that is what has been going on in my life. I am hoping that now that I wrote about it I can start sharing some of the positive things that are starting to come my way. It has been a long road for me but I definitely have some good things happening and I am starting to get excited about sharing them with you.
Thanks for taking time out in your busy day to spend some time with me. Hope you are enjoying your small moments in your day.